AUGUST 2: MARK WAHLBERG IN 'BONERLAND'

Hi, my name is Eric. And I work in a button factory. Because I always say "No" when people ask me "Are ya married?" and because I relish every opportunity to push the button with my left hand, I jumped at the chance to sling questions at Trivia Mafia's newest locale, the EagleBOLT. I mean I literally jumped. I was listening to the Pointer Sisters at the time and they told me to. Still haven't felt their kisses in the night, but maybe I fell asleep too early.

Anyway, Chuck (charter mafioso, who is the Vito to my Luca Brasi) was kind enough to help initiate me into the fold, though I'm sorry to inform all you fellas that, unlike Joe from the Button Factory, he is married.

Being the debut night for EagleBOLT trivia, teams were few but dedicated. Well, except for the two teams that left after we gave them their halfway-through scores. They had other dedications to attend to. Like booing me for even bringing up Chick-Fil-A in the form of a trivia question. (Hey, I didn't write them!)

But the remaining three teams were all justly rewarded with bar cash, prizes and my undying gratitude for knowing songs on George W. Bush's iPod.

Earning a Bronze with 22 points were The Red Rockets, who only once (casually) told me what I could do with my answer sheet. Taking you guys up on that advice presently.

Landing in Silver with 29 points were Cook/Webb, who absolutely aced that Dubya iPod round, incidentally. Is there something you guys aren't telling me?

 

I'd like to say it was a photo finish, but Shrimp 'n' Grits blasted the ever-loving Phelps out of the competition with a performance-enhanced 49-point score. Here they are enjoying their victory lap.

Come back at 10 p.m. next Thursday for more Q&Awesomeness. Chuck will be filling in for me while I take a vacation. Yeah, a vacation my second week on the job. I'm that much a diva.